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Posted on February 15, 2013 8:24 pm
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maWyZu
maWyZu
Reps: 101
Why are you crying, Mommy will be back
There's a kindergartener that crys every morning whenever the student's mother drops them off. After about 10 minutes the student stops crying and is fine, but this does get annoying when this happens every morning. Is this something where the student is just young and needs to grow up a little or is this something where I need to have a meeting with the parents about? When asked, all the student says is that they miss mommy. Obviously the mother can't sit by the student's side all the time. What should be done?
 
     
     
 
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Solution 1
Posted February 18, 2013 8:15 am

TaHazy
TaHazy
Reps: 115
This is not unusual behavior for a kindergarten aged student, in fact . . . it's quite common, especially in the first few weeks of school. Many students at that age have never been separated from their parent, nor have they been in a social setting such as school or day care. Granted, this is changing due to VPK, but there are still many children who have not had either experience coming into your classroom, and that is okay. Being patient and nurturing will go a very long way with young students. Try and help the student get what they need to start the day and then give them space. Being overly attentive can sometimes make this worse. I would also make a note for the parent in their student planner to let them know that this is happening. Usually, this crying fits will gradually decrease and stop altogether within the first few weeks of school. However, if they do not stop, don't seem to be decreasing, or are getting worse, you may wish to have a conference and/or refer to guidance.
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maWyZu
maWyZu
Reps: 101
This behavior has continued to happen throughout the school year. It was not just a couple weeks in and that was it. The mother is aware and thinks nothing of it, yet the behavior continues. It is almost to the point where it is rediculous.
  Posted on: February 18, 2013 10:19 pm

Jenna Herberson
Jenna Herberson
Reps: 200
I agree, this is a good solution.
  Posted on: February 25, 2018 6:09 am

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Solution 2
Posted February 18, 2013 8:17 pm

ypedeD
ypedeD
Reps: 102
I have a little one that does the same thing every morning when I drop her off a daycare. It's a security thing! They need I feel safe and secure. Mommy is the best thing they have. With my daughter, I send her with her favorite blanket or small stuffed animal. These are the next best from mommy. I can imagine the crying would get annoying but the child is probably scared. Maybe welcome him with a small hug and ask him to come play with a you on a puzzle or something. He has to feel welcomed and at home. Maybe suggest to mom that he brings a small blanket or stuffed animal to help him relax.
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Solution 3
Posted February 24, 2013 11:53 pm

ebuquv
ebuquv
Reps: 101
Kindergarteners are still at an age in which they have separation anxiety, especially from their parents or closest loved ones. My suggestion would be to allow the student to carry a picture of mom with them to class, this way they may feel as though a part of mom is still with them once the parent is physically away.
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Solution 4
Posted April 18, 2013 6:44 pm

resabu
resabu
Reps: 101
This is very common during kindergarten. When I worked at a daycare I had a 4 year old who would do the same thing everyday. One thing I tried that worked with this child, was having jobs ready for him when he walked into the room. This made him feel like he was important and needed to come everyday.
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Solution 5
Posted March 2, 2013 12:24 pm

emaLeP
emaLeP
Reps: 100
We had a student in my first internship that did this. We would welcome the student in the morning and try to engage them right away with a movie that we would play until the last bell rang. This seemed to be a good distraction for the student. I would maybe try to find something that the student is really interested in and as soon as they enter your class try to get them interested in it. You may even want to read or play a funny or catchy story for the whole class as a distraction.
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erugyn
erugyn
Reps: 100
Great idea, having something to look forward to right away helps.
  Posted on: October 18, 2014 7:53 pm

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Solution 6
Posted October 15, 2014 12:55 am

yLuVaz
yLuVaz
Reps: 102
One thing that may help would be to have the child go straight to their seat and tell them that you have a special task for them to do. You could have the student pass out papers that other students will need throughout the day. This will help take the students mommy off their mind.
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Edward Gibbs
Edward Gibbs
Reps: 100
I really like this solution. I think the passing out papers or special task is a great way to get their mind off mommy.
  Posted on: October 19, 2014 4:00 pm

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Solution 7
Posted February 22, 2015 2:19 am

eqeTys
eqeTys
Reps: 103
I see this all the time in my students aged 2-5. We always tell them that "mommy will be back" and have a variety of other things that we do to encourage them to stop crying. We tell them that it makes mommy sad to see them sad like that, and suggest that they want mommy to be happy and have a good day at work. Alternatively, if there is a blanket or a toy that makes them feel like their mom is with them, we let them carry it around for a little while/until they are more comfortable with the school environment. We also try to distract them with their friends on the playground/in their class/etc. so that their focus isn't on their parents, but on their friends and having fun. Similarly, if the student has a favorite toy on the playground/in the classroom, try and make sure that that toy is available for them right away.

It is also important, though, that the parents not hover around for too long. It is hard for parents to leave when their child is in the middle of crying, but it is imperative that they trust you to take care of the situation and that they not stick around. If the child sees their parent staying for longer and longer the more they cry, they are going to continue crying because it means that mommy will stay longer. Parents should say goodbye no more than two times, give them a kiss, and leave, no matter how hard it may be.
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Solution 8
Posted March 9, 2015 7:52 pm

HyseSa
HyseSa
Reps: 100
I teach pre-k and see this quite a lot at the beginning of the year. One thing that helps is a visual schedule for the children to see and manipulate so they understand what they have left until the end of the day and they can see their mom again. I did have one child at the beginning of this year who had never been away from his mom and had to be carried down the hall to my class each day. I gave the hall monitors a set of stickers to show him as soon as they got him out of the car. If he walked down the hallway without screaming and pitching a fit, he earned the sticker. It took a couple weeks for it to work but he really wanted that sticker so it finally worked and he was motivated by it. Any little incentive like the sticker that the child is motivated by can work.
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Solution 9
Posted October 13, 2015 12:18 am

Xyraju
Xyraju
Reps: 101
For a kindergarten student, they are so used to constantly being at home with their parent(s). This could be their first year off for a majority of the day without their mother. This is extremely common.
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