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Posted on October 10, 2016 2:38 am
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LeWuVy
LeWuVy
Reps: 125
Overbearing parent
What do you do when a parent volunteers to help with a lot, which you happily accept, but then they become a little overbearing? I worked with a parent that was willing to help with anything the teachers needed, but once they felt comfortable around the teachers she started overstepping her boundaries. She would give her daughter permission to do things in the classroom that were against the rules but I felt uncomfortable confronting the mom about it. She was so helpful in so many areas that I let the little things slide, but the situation started increasing (snowball effect).
 
     
     
 
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Solution 1
Posted October 15, 2016 12:25 am

aDaWaV
aDaWaV
Reps: 227
This is a very difficult situation. I would pull the parent aside and thank her for all that she does, but remind her that there are certain rules that EVERY student needs to follow in order for others to feel they are being treated the same.
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Solution 2
Posted October 12, 2016 12:36 am

uBuDap
uBuDap
Reps: 201
I would remind the parent nicely that, while this behavior may be appropriate for her daughter at home, and as a single child, it cannot be tolerated in the classroom. Give the parent some perspective: what if all the students did these little things? It can get out of hand quickly. The rules apply to everyone, and unfortunately if the parent cannot respect these boundaries, the parent cannot be in the room.
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Kristen OBryant
Kristen OBryant
Reps: 103
I would like to try other interventions before giving the mom an ultimatum.
  Posted on: October 16, 2016 2:34 am

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Solution 3
Posted October 12, 2016 2:37 pm

PeQyGa
PeQyGa
Reps: 201
I encountered a situation similar to this. It is important to set boundaries, even with parents. It is wonderful that they want to help but make sure they know what you need help with and what you don't need help with.
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PeMuQa
PeMuQa
Reps: 200
I agree. They should be respectful of the classroom rules, and establishing those boundaries are important. No matter how helpful she is, it is still important for her to be respectful of you.
  Posted on: October 16, 2017 12:58 am

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Solution 4
Posted October 16, 2016 2:32 am

Kristen OBryant
Kristen OBryant
Reps: 103
I might start by redirecting the student in front of the mom and reminding the student of the classroom rules. This way the mom will be reminded of the rules and who the teacher is without a direct confrontation.
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Solution 5
Posted February 26, 2017 5:19 pm

Melissa Dison
Melissa Dison
Reps: 327
Hi LeWuVy,

I would conference with the parent to let them know how important it is to consistently implement classroom rules and procedures. Perhaps you have assumed they have observed the classroom enough to pick up on these rules/procedures but have never explicitly stated them to the parent. During the conference, I would start by making sure the parent knows how much you appreciate their help. I would tell them that you tweaked the classroom rules/procedures a bit lately and that you would like them to look over it. Explain that, as another authority figure in the classroom, you wanted to make sure you both are on the same page so that these aspects of the classroom can be implemented consistently among all students. Explain that you would really appreciate their help in this area. Give them a take home sheet they can look over to reinforce what you are saying.

Melissa
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Solution 6
Posted October 12, 2016 6:19 pm

jaDehy
jaDehy
Reps: 200
I think it would be beneficial to have that conversation with the parent because it shows favoritism with the student, once one student does it the other students may want to join in, and because it is not in the parent's place to tell the student how to behave (in a negative way) within your classroom. I would consider having it in a formal setting that way the parent understands the role as teacher and parent.
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Solution 7
Posted March 6, 2017 2:30 am

Andrea Howey
Andrea Howey
Reps: 201
I would explain to her that her work has been greatly appreciated but she needs to know her boundaries.
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Solution 8
Posted October 9, 2017 2:03 am

useZyt
useZyt
Reps: 207
I would have a conversation with the parent and let them know that you love having them around to help with things in the classroom, but that you don't want their child breaking the rules of the classroom and setting a bad example for the other students. Ask her to stay quiet while class is going on.
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Solution 9
Posted October 12, 2017 2:37 am

aRaLeg
aRaLeg
Reps: 200
Yes, her help is amazing for teachers who have many students. I understand her child is in the classroom but when it comes to your classroom, you are the teacher. Have a pleasant conversation with the parent to remind them that the rules are for all students and should be enforced by the teacher.
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Solution 10
Posted February 25, 2018 11:51 pm

ZeSuQy
ZeSuQy
Reps: 205
I feel like you need to pull the parent aside and let her know that you are very grateful for all she does for the class and to help out but the rules are in place in the class for all students to follow to ensure safety, order, and an effective educational environment. I would remind the parent that while in the classroom it is your job to keep the students safe and to teach them and that as a guest in the classroom it is important that she enforces the rules posted in the classroom for all students. I would monitor her behavior after the conversation and if the behavior continues i would ask the parent not to return to the classroom to volunteer until she is able to support your classroom in a respectful manner and follow the posted rules.
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Solution 11
Posted October 14, 2016 7:15 pm

Husava
Husava
Reps: 180
I would have a talk with the mom and remind her that she is there to help and that you are the teacher at the end of this.
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