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Posted on December 7, 2012 2:08 pm
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BreAnna Sinclair
BreAnna Sinclair
Reps: 118
Basketball Team- Similar Case
I coached a high school womens basketball team. Several players on the team were openly lesbians. Throughout the course of four years, more and more players "came out." I heard several rumors that one player, Chelsea, was approaching another player, Sarah, and wanting to "date" her. Sarah was not a lesbian and politely handled the matter by simply saying no. After several no's, Chelsea began punishing Sarah on the basketball court. She would not pass Sarah the ball, set picks for Sarah, and continously complain that Sarah wasn't doing her job. Since Chelsea was the leader of the team and of the lesbian group, the other lesbian players treated Sarah the same. It's not fair to Sarah to allow the other players to treat her this way, but I can't call attention to the lesbians without them thinking I'm discriminating.How do I handle this situation?
 
     
     
 
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Solution 1
Posted December 9, 2012 1:21 pm

Melissa Tolbert
Melissa Tolbert
Reps: 104
There are definitely good and productive ways that this can be handled. I would sit everyone down and just explain what I am noticing on the court. I wouldn't state any assumptions but just the facts. I would then get them to explain why it is happening. Once they explained what was happening, I would tell a scenario similar to what was going on but using different people groups. Maybe explain a situation where people were discriminating against someone because of their race. I would then relate this to the current situation. I would also explain that is has nothing to do with sexual preference because if the roles were reversed we would still be having the same discussion. Discrimination is discrimination no matter what the reasoning. If it continued to be a problem, I would discuss it with their parents.
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Solution 2
Posted December 7, 2012 6:44 pm

Laine Vilardi
Laine Vilardi
Reps: 119
I think it's important to discuss what being on a team means. Also, I don't you don't want to discriminate them because they are lesbians, but couldn't what they did to Sarah also be called discrimination since she is not a lesbian and is in the minority in this case? Of course they are also bullying. I think it's time to talk about the meaning of a team, and that we need to treat each other equally and fairly.
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Solution 3
Posted April 18, 2013 6:47 pm

ryZuSa
ryZuSa
Reps: 99
With bullying becoming a growing issue across the nation, it's crucial that we as educators are observant and clued in to potential threats among our students. I believe the first step in handling the issues described in your post would be to speak with Chelsea privately, and discuss with her the ramifications of treating others in the way you've been noticing. This will let her know that you're looking out and aware her behavior is escalating. Next, I'd loop-in the school counselor and request that she conduct a bullying presentation to the entire team; by having this shared with the whole group, no one is singled out yet everyone is being educated. Maybe at the end of the presentation, the team can agree to sign a contract (complete with consequences) that they will adhere to the school guidelines re: bullying.
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Solution 4
Posted February 11, 2013 1:32 pm

Meredith Talley
Meredith Talley
Reps: 30
For this, I would first have an individual meeting with Chelsea. She needs to understand that, as the leader of the team, she is the one the girls look to for how they should handle things. She needs to understand that Sarah was showing her respect by giving her a polite "no" rather than calling her out and embarrassing her. She also needs to learn that "no" is "no". There was no reason for her to ask Sarah multiple times for a date. After this individual meeting with Chelsea I would have a meeting with Sarah. You can't just take an action that would effect Sarah and not get her opinion on the matter. There may be a way she wants it to be handled that you wouldn't think of. After your meeting with the two of them you may want to have a joint meeting where they work it out together. Then I would let Chelsea correct the problem she made by having a meeting with the other team members that she conducts herself with your help.
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yVuRaR
yVuRaR
Reps: 101
I like your idea of pulling Chelsea aside. But in your post, you said, "She needs to understand that Sarah was showing her respect by giving her a polite "no" rather than calling her out and embarrassing her." Calling her out would be a horrible thing to do! I don't really think someone deserves praise for refraining from doing a horrible thing.
  Posted on: October 3, 2016 4:45 pm

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Solution 5
Posted December 7, 2012 11:27 pm

areli saucedo
areli saucedo
Reps: 119
You as a women and a role model, should confront the girls and talk to them about respect. Respect is very important and should be applied even in sports. By doing this, you would be implying that they stop what they are doing and treat Sarah with more courtesy. If this does not happen, then I suggest that you speak to Sarah and Chelsea alone and let them tell you whats going on. Afterwards, you should tell Chelsea that she should respect Sarah' decision and leave her alone, if not, she would be taken off from the team.
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Solution 6
Posted December 7, 2012 4:19 pm

Sarah Hogan Johnson
Sarah Hogan Johnson
Reps: 163
You could discuss with the team the importance of treating everyone fairly regardless of sexual orientation. This would be difficult to approach without resistance but if the rest of the team thinks you are discriminating, remind them of what they are doing to Sarah. They are discriminating against her because she isn't a lesbian. I would also remind them that they are a team and they need to work together and accept each other's differences.
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yVuRaR
yVuRaR
Reps: 101
I don't think these girls are picking on Sarah because of her sexual orientation. They're picking on her because she exercised her right to say no. This case should be treated as if a girl rejected a boy's advances, or if a boy rejected a girl's advances. I think Chelsea is just upset she got rejected. This dose not make what she is doing right in any form, but I don't think it has anything to do with sexuality.
  Posted on: October 3, 2016 4:48 pm

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Solution 7
Posted December 8, 2012 4:19 pm

Amari Hagan
Amari Hagan
Reps: 115
I would call a team meeting and have a talk with the girls. I will tell them that we should accept and respect each other sexual orientation. Also I will tell them that everyone makes up this team and we should treat everyone as a team member on and off the court. I would address that I donít like how Sarah is being treated by others and would love for them to change their ways and continue to play ball as a team.
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Solution 8
Posted December 9, 2012 7:39 pm

Linda Swinson
Linda Swinson
Reps: 107
I would have meeting first with Chelsea and ask her what the problem was and remind her she is the team learder and if she can't lead what do she suggest I do. Then I would have a meeting with the whole team and remind them that they are a team an they are their to help each other and any other issue needs to be left off the courts.
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Solution 9
Posted February 18, 2013 1:09 am

Mr. Timarcus Wyatt
Mr. Timarcus Wyatt
Reps: 27
There should definitely be a team meeting. The coach does not have to address the sexual orientation of any of the players, but there should be something said about the players off-court behaviors affecting the performance of the team. If the girls continue to show inappropriate behavior after a team discussion, I would then get parents involved in the situation.
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Solution 10
Posted February 19, 2013 6:49 pm

Hannah Brents
Hannah Brents
Reps: 25
To solve this problem, I would start out by having a meeting with the team and reminding them that they need to treat everyone equally and that they are a team and need to act like it. You should also tell them to keep their personal lives off the basketball court and out of the gym. If this does not work then you should pull Sarah aside and get her opinion on what the problem is and do the same thing with Chelsea.
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Solution 11
Posted March 9, 2015 4:42 pm

yQaran
yQaran
Reps: 100
Possible Solution: I would speak with the team as a whole about playing as a team. I would tell them that everything that does not have to do with basketball, such as school, relationships, or what they are doing this weekend will not be brought onto the court. I would tell them that if I feel that there are girls that are not being "team players", regardless if they are a starter or not, they will sit the bench until the learn to play as a team. If the problem persist, I would start speaking with the team players individually.
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Solution 12
Posted December 11, 2012 11:53 pm

sierra h
sierra h
Reps: 47
team meeting about discrimination on and off the court and how as a coach you see everything. if chelsea and her peers have been discriminated against they should be understanding but then again they are girls so you might have to take a different approach. Chelsea may be the leader of her team and her peer group but you are her coach as as a coach you have to make decisions for the benefit of the team as a whole. you are the godfather lay down to law saying you wont tolerate it do not specify just say that it has come to your attention. my coach always said "leave your personal life at the door you came here to play so play if your to busy thinking about who your gonna go out with on friday ,why so and so doesn't like you or how much you hate that teacher for assigning you homework your not playing your 100% and if your not giving me at least 100% ill know and you can play from the bench until you are able to leave it at the door"
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yVuRaR
yVuRaR
Reps: 101
I like what you said about leaving your personal life at the door. However, this isn't really a discrimination case. If you were to sit these girls down and talk about how they are discriminating against Sarah because of her sexuality, all hell would break loose and you would make the situation dramatically worse. This NEEDS to be treated like a bullying case because that's what it is.
  Posted on: October 3, 2016 4:51 pm

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Solution 13
Posted December 8, 2012 7:20 pm

Sha'keela McClendon
Sha'keela McClendon
Reps: 141
This basketball team needs a talk. First I would have a talk with Chelsea and Sarah, asking them to explain to me why this team is divided. Then I would ask Chelsea if the tables were turned and she was in Sarah's shoes how would she feel. Letting her know that what she is doing to Sarah is not an example of a good captain. Both Chelsea and Sarah are good players and if they want to go to the finals then they have to work together as a team. I would tell the other teammates the same thing. They cant expect to win games if their two best players don't work together. After the talk is done and things don't change I would make those girls suffer, extra practices and extra laps until they learned how to get along with each other and treat each other with respect.
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Solution 14
Posted February 22, 2015 3:26 am

ZyhyJu
ZyhyJu
Reps: 95
It is bullying. I think the actions can be addressed without sexual orientation being an issue. I would speak with Chelsea and the other players about their actions and remind them that their positions are expendable. They can be suspended or kicked off the team if the bullying continues.
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ZyhyJu
ZyhyJu
Reps: 95
Sexual orientation should not be an issue and addressed any differently than a heterosexual situation.
  Posted on: February 22, 2015 3:27 am

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Solution 15
Posted February 22, 2015 3:37 am

ajybus
ajybus
Reps: 90
I would approach this situation by doing two things. Firstly, I would have a team meeting discussing what it means to work together as a team and how teammates should be treated. After having meeting with the team I would call Chelsea over individually after the meeting to talk to her about the situation with Sarah you have been observing. I would emphasis to Chelsea that as a team leader it is her responsibility that the team is functioning successfully as a team. I would also add to Chelsea that if she is unable to manage the team and help the team work together that a new team leader would be put in place who could do so.
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Solution 16
Posted December 8, 2012 1:40 pm

Lindsey Harrison
Lindsey Harrison
Reps: 108
I think that you should speak to Chelsea and Sarah privately first. I do think that you should call attention to Chelsea because she as the team captain has a responsibility to the team just as the coach does. Explain to Chelsea that she is the model of the group, and that the other teammates are going to model her actions. Also explain to her that there will be consequences if she does not act fairly to Sarah.
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Solution 17
Posted February 19, 2013 12:52 am

maWyZu
maWyZu
Reps: 101
I would go to school administration and have them bring in the group of students with the coach and school counselor in attendance. It would allow the students to talk the situation out as well as let them know that what they are doing is not right. It should also allow everyone to express their feelings in a safe environment.
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