TeacherServer.com
Home | How It Works | Stats
Login | Register
     
 
Topic Go Back
 
     
     
 
Case
Posted on March 10, 2015 11:12 pm
Add to Favorites Add to Favorites

udapum
udapum
Reps: 102
Teacher crush
I teach special education and have an 8th grade student with autism on my caseload. His math teacher informed me recently that she thinks he has a crush on her. He is new to the school and has not made any friends but is more comfortable talking with adults than his peers. When walking to lunch, he does not walk with the class and instead walks closely beside his teacher. He also visits her between every class period and tries to give her hugs and wants to rest his head on her shoulder. One day during a restroom break, I saw him trying to take a picture of her on his cell phone. When she has talked to him about appropriate relationships between teachers and students he does not seem to understand and asks questions such as "So, are we still cool?" afterwards. When I spoke with him about it and suggested that we may have to change his class, he broke down and started crying. But is there any other way that I could handle this situation without changing his teacher?
 
     
     
 
Reply Submit a Possible Solution
Please read response(s) below (if any) before posting your solution.
 
     
     
 
Solution 1
Posted March 11, 2015 2:33 pm

usyvaS
usyvaS
Reps: 100
If there has been a conversation between the student and the teacher and the behavior has not changed or improved, then the parent needs to be involved with an administrator mediator. I say this because as educators, we are always at fault. To avoid any unnecessary allegations, I would deem it important to alert the parent of the issue and the administration, so the parent could possibly talk to the young man, and the administration will have knowledge of the issue. I think this would cover all professional parties from any code of ethics violation.
Votes: +26 / -0 Vote Up This Solution Is Useful   Vote Down This Solution Is Not Useful  

Comments posted for this solution

ezyHes
ezyHes
Reps: 101
I agree that all parties should know.
  Posted on: March 5, 2016 7:12 pm

Kathy Allen
Kathy Allen
Reps: 100
I think it would be important to include the parents, at this point. After a failed conversation between teacher and student, the parents could be an important part in solving the problem.
  Posted on: February 23, 2018 9:37 pm

Reply Add a Comment
 
     
     
 
Solution 2
Posted March 12, 2015 5:52 pm

buZage
buZage
Reps: 100
Involving the parents, administration, and guidance department in this matter is going to be the best possible solution. Having the parents decide what they feel is best for their child is an important factor. I had a similar situation with one my students who has autism earlier in the year. He always told me how beautiful I was, and he always wanted to hug me (I also teach middle school). I explained to him that at this age, it is inappropriate for boys to hug their female teachers. I suggested that we use fist bumps or high fives in place of hugs toward the beginning of the year. It was a tough adjustment for him at first, but a few weeks later, he didn't seem to miss his hugs. My situation was not nearly to the point that yours is, but by working with the student to change some of his practices (hugging/laying his head on her shoulder) might help him distance himself from her if he is unable to change classes. Change is especially difficult for students with autism, but if you can work together to find a new routine/behavior with her and in that class, it might make a more lasting impression.
Votes: +7 / -0 Vote Up This Solution Is Useful   Vote Down This Solution Is Not Useful  

Comments posted for this solution

meXyHy
meXyHy
Reps: 158
This is the best possible solution and well thought out.
  Posted on: October 15, 2015 9:21 pm

Reply Add a Comment
 
     
     
 
Solution 3
Posted September 30, 2015 6:54 pm

neraXe
neraXe
Reps: 133
I would suggest having a male teacher have a talk with the student. Teacher student relationships should be strictly professional with no exceptions. Even though this student is new and does not have many friends yet he needs to understand that his behavior towards this teacher needs to stop. Also having the teacher herself have a talk with the student may benefit because he does admire her and may really listen to what she has to say.
Votes: +2 / -8 Vote Up This Solution Is Useful   Vote Down This Solution Is Not Useful  

Comments posted for this solution

Reply Add a Comment
 
     
     
 
Solution 4
Posted March 12, 2015 5:52 pm

buZage
buZage
Reps: 100
Involving the parents, administration, and guidance department in this matter is going to be the best possible solution. Having the parents decide what they feel is best for their child is an important factor. I had a similar situation with one my students who has autism earlier in the year. He always told me how beautiful I was, and he always wanted to hug me (I also teach middle school). I explained to him that at this age, it is inappropriate for boys to hug their female teachers. I suggested that we use fist bumps or high fives in place of hugs toward the beginning of the year. It was a tough adjustment for him at first, but a few weeks later, he didn't seem to miss his hugs. My situation was not nearly to the point that yours is, but by working with the student to change some of his practices (hugging/laying his head on her shoulder) might help him distance himself from her if he is unable to change classes. Change is especially difficult for students with autism, but if you can work together to find a new routine/behavior with her and in that class, it might make a more lasting impression.
Votes: +0 / -0 Vote Up This Solution Is Useful   Vote Down This Solution Is Not Useful  

Comments posted for this solution

Reply Add a Comment
 
     
     
 
Solution 5
Posted March 15, 2015 4:52 pm

XyGady
XyGady
Reps: 106
I think the teacher handled herself in a very professional manner. However, it may be important to inform the school counselor as well as the parent to help them get the student to understand the severity of the situation. Maybe, with additional support, the student can begin to understand the situation fully.
Votes: +0 / -0 Vote Up This Solution Is Useful   Vote Down This Solution Is Not Useful  

Comments posted for this solution

Reply Add a Comment
 
     
     
 
Solution 6
Posted March 6, 2016 11:20 pm

yLeBun
yLeBun
Reps: 200
In this situation I would suggest getting parents and administrators involved. This situation is clearly getting out of hand and teacher needs others involved to help support what she is saying. By talking about it with others will help student understand his behavior is inappropriate and in order to continue working with this teacher his behavior must change. This will allow the student and teacher to continue working together with a better understanding and no hard feelings.
Votes: +0 / -0 Vote Up This Solution Is Useful   Vote Down This Solution Is Not Useful  

Comments posted for this solution

Reply Add a Comment
 
     
     
 
Reply Submit a Possible Solution
Please read response(s) below (if any) before posting your solution.